I would ask my mom, “How was your week?”
“Kinda boring,” was her answer.
Before disease, my mom was a productive person with many social and creative pursuits. Her health condition severely reduced her world. She struggles with these increasing limitations.
As I reflect, I think I was asking the wrong question.
We tend to say, “What a bad day!” Or “What a brutal week.” But we cannot afford to give so much time away — time we aren’t living, time we aren’t noticing good.
Most of us know there are sometimes beautiful moments in the midst of bad days or horrible weeks. But how can we capture them? How do we keep the bad, the boring, and the disappointments from overtaking the good?
There might be pain, there might be boredom, there might be no sunshine… but it is important to remember that each day usually offers at least 16 hours alive and awake.
Both caregivers and their loved ones can have many good moments in a day. What can you do to bring some cheer into the day, or how can you help reframe what is happening?
The power of a routine
Routines help bring calmness and variety to a day. Plan times for daily care, therapies, exercises and stretches, and meals. Move to different areas for specific activities to establish routine. Then, add in regular entertainment to bring small moments of expected joy into a day. Ideas include watching a specific show together, taking a nightly drive to see the sunset, setting a time to listen to songs or an audiobook, reading a morning excerpt from a devotional such as Every Moment Holy, or playing a quick hand of Go Fish after lunch.
The power of dividing the day
If a day is too long to focus on, just focus on the next four hours. Work in those four quarters to find joy and to make progress.
Stop trying to make a whole day just something to get through. Divide the day into four quarters: 8am-noon, noon-4pm, 4-8pm, 8pm-midnight. Segmenting like this can help the day feel more manageable, as you can plan different things during each of those quarters. Go on an outing in the morning, or schedule someone to bring dinner on a certain day, or take your loved one out for an afternoon coffee or a small Dairy Queen blizzard.
By Anita Oldham
P.S. Sharing A Home – Preparing For When Family Moves In (part 1 of 2).
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